A good many husbands are utterly spoiled by mismanagement in cooking, and so are not tender and good. Some women go about it as if their husbands were bladders and blow them up - others keep them constantly in hot water - and others let them freeze by their carelessness and indifference. Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words - others waste them. Some keep them in pickle all their lives.

It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good if managed in this way, but they are really extremely delicious when properly managed.

In selecting your husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance as in buying mackerel, or by the golden tint as if you wanted salmon. Be sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not go to the market for him, as the best are always brought to the door. It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to cook him. A preserving kettle of finest porcelain is the best, but if you have nothing better than an earthenware popkin, it will do, with care.

See that the linen in which you wrap him is nicely washed and mended and has the required number of buttons and strings neatly sewed on. Tie him into the kettle by a strong silken cord called comfort, as the one called duty is apt to be weak. They sometimes fly out of the kettle and so become burned and crusty on the edges, since like crabs and lobsters, you have to cook them while alive.

Make a clear, steady fire out of love, neatness and cheerfullness. Set him as near this as seems to agree with him; If he sputters do not be anxious; some husbands do this until they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves them, but it must be used with great judgment.

Do not stick any sharp instrument into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently; lest he lie to flat and close to the kettle and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done.

If thus heated you will find him very digestible, agreeing perfectly with you, and he will keep as long as you want, unless you become careless and set him in too cold a place.

Author Unknown

I clipped this out of a magazine some 30 years ago. At that time it was a "recipe" unearthed in an old American attic.

Wilma Beisner